Monday, October 4, 2010

OT: I should write a household instruction manual

Got a start on the laundry chapter:

How to Change Bedsheets

1) Remove cat from bed.
2) Remove comforter; set aside.
3) Remove cat from bed.
4) Remove top sheet; toss in laundry basket.
5) Remove cat from bed.
6) Remove pillows; toss pillowcases in laundry basket.
7) Remove cat from bed.
8) Remove fitted sheet; toss in laundry basket.
9) Remove cat from bed.
10) Unfold fitted sheet, fit to two corners.
11) Remove cat from bed.
12) Fit another corner.
13) Remove cat from bed.
14) Fit final corner.
15) Insert pillows into clean pillowcases; place on bed.
16) Remove cat from bed.
17) Unfold top sheet; shake out.
18) Unhook cat’s claws from top sheet.
19) Remove cat from bed.
20) Apply top sheet to bed.
21) Remove cat from beneath top sheet.
22) Smooth top sheet; tuck bottom end under mattress.
23) Remove cat from bed.
24) Place comforter on bed.
25) Remove cat from bed.
26) Smooth, straighten comforter.

How to Launder Sheets:
1) Remove cat from laundry basket.
2) Hold basket high overhead as you make your way to laundry room.
3) Trip over cat.
4) Put basket on top of dryer.
5) Open washer, twiddle with dials and/or buttons until water starts rushing into tub.
6) Add soap/detergent/soapnuts to washer tub.
7) Remove cat from laundry basket.
8) Remove sheets from laundry basket; insert into washer.
9) Close washer lid.
10) Chase cat down hall to retrieve the pillowcase she is dragging away. (OPTIONAL: Shout “Oi, f**kface, gimme that!”)
11) Add pillowcase to washer; close lid.
12) Turn laundry basket upside down; place over cat.


  1. You're lucky. In my house devilkitty would have pissed in the clean laundry at least once.